Aestetics Of the Sober Anibriated

The old me has long past. This is the new me, which stands upon the soapbox waiting to fall. It has been long since we last spoke (the past and present I). This will be a conversation quite so awkward. We have not spoke for quite awhile. "How is the weather?" Small talk will not suffice. "It has been quite warm for an Autumn afternoon. How is your family?" I will not recognize my previous face. I am the stranger. "They have been well." (I speak hardly knowing my own truth.) I know not who I have become. I am a figure yet undefined. I must walk away. Must walk away from this small talk that is forced through the shallow opening which is my blog. "It's been nice running into you but I must leave."

He waits. He is confused, but still he responds. "Goodbye". I return "Goodbye".

This emptiness filled with excitement is what I must face. It has never been that so much has been happening in my life. I am at an amazing school. A place I have wanted to be for three years. Yet I am still confused. Still frustrated. Still having troubles. I don't know what to do. But I know who I am? Am I a new person after all? Or just an object in a new setting? This is a big deal. There is beauty in the chaos. I wish not to allude to the fact that I am drunk, but rather to state it blatantly. I am drunk. It is the product of cheap whiskey shared with 1/3 of my roommates. Quad life leads to interesting happenstances. Such as me. Drunk. Alone. Pecking away at my keyboard. One would assume that this is a lonely moment. But what is closer than spending time with one owns thoughts? This is not the appropriate medium for this topic. Others will read this. This is for me. Me Only.

It is I who invited you in. Into the the gray matter between me thew calcium, magnesium, and chaos that my skull consist of. I continue to type. No longer am I alone. I am surrounded by several others yet I continue to type. I should probably stop. Lonely is no longer my adjective. I need to socialize. I need to interact. I need to.. Anyways I need to go. I will speak with you later. May I will not be under the influence. Maybe I Will. be my previous self. Regardless I want you to know I love you. You are my friend. You are my rock. You are me.